"It just doesn't seem right that I should be ridiculed for everything I do." I couldn't reply. I didn't want to admit that he was right. But, my husband was Robin Hood splitting the arrow in half. I've been in a rut of criticism. Poor guy couldn't do anything right.
While I finished up the day, I felt as though loads of wet laundry were being thrown on top of me. The load of guilt for how I'd treated my husband, then the load of regret for things I hadn't done with the kids, and yet another - the load of wishing that I had managed our home better. I was sick of me. I dropped into bed feeling kinda hopeless.
This morning, I started the day...praying as I went. I realized how little time I've been spending with the One who makes me a better wife, mom and manager. I spent some time working on verses I'm memorizing with a friend, wrote in my journal about God's gift of a new day; thanked Him for never running out of patience with me and for His endless gift of forgiveness. Turning my eyes to Him began to wash away the guilt, regret and wishes leaving room for my soul to be flooded with the hope He brings in a new day. Just because I was rotten yesterday doesn't mean I have to continue in that pattern. A new tradition can start today. A fresh way of communicating with my family is possible. In Him, there is hope.
Without spending time with Him, I forget that my hope is in Him; not in my husband, my children, my abilities, or my circumstances. He won’t stop loving me (even when I don’t like myself very much.) “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom. 8:38-39 (NIV) He won't give up on me.
Thank You, Lord, for your unending, unbreakable, unrelenting love for me. Help me purify myself with the truth, so that I can have a sincere love for my family and help me love them deeply from the heart. (I Peter 13:22) As generously as you've loved me, help me love the same.
"Therefore, prepare your minds for action, be self-controlled, set your hope fully in the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed..." I Peter 1:13
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Thank you for sharing this renewing post. It is easy to end our days with guilt and even regret sometimes, but as you point out, we can begin each day anew. And that is part of the beauty of God's grace - He has mercy on us and blesses us when it's so undeserved.
ReplyDeleteSusan Martin, The Mom Coach
http://workingmoms911.tumblr.com