Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Bad Day?

It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Things were not going as planned! I had been busy all morning but had nothing to show for it. I had intended to get up early, but instead I slept late. I had been ugly to my kids. It was afternoon, and I hadn't even had time to take a shower. I was feeling really low, primarily about myself. I was in a funk.

Alec, my ten-year-old, hugged me that day and out of the blue said, "I'm so glad you're my mom. I wouldn't want anyone else." I returned the hug and commented, "Sometimes I think someone else could do a much better job." He looked at me with a horrified look and said, "Why would you say that?"

Why would I say something like that? I guess because I felt like a complete failure. I was not being patient with my kids. I had raised my voice one too many times. A harsh scowl seemed to be permanently chiseled into my face. I was comparing myself with other moms. I don't deserve to have kids, I thought.

Guilt weighs heavily on most of our shoulders at one time or another. It seems to go with the title of Mother. No one prepared us for how challenging this role would be. Nor did they tell us how connected our hearts would be to our children.

I heard a friend say one time, "God wants me to be a 'good' mom, not a perfect one." But sadly many of us are striving for perfection. What we don't realize is that these ideals we have ascribed to ourselves are impossible to keep, and they only make everyone (the people around us as well as ourselves) miserable. Nobody likes to be around people who think they are perfect or won't admit they're wrong. So why put ourselves through all that?

I want to encourage you today. The next time you're having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day, remember: The only "code" we are to be patterning our life after is God's Word. We are to base our self-image on who He says we are. Ephesians 2:10 says it well:
"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which
God prepared in advance for us to do."

Don't fall into the trap of self-defeat. Let God untangle the web of lies you've believed about yourself and set you free to find who you are in Him--a daughter of the King, worthy because of His shed blood, forgiven by His grace, and strengthened by His strong hand.

Lord Jesus, I feel like such a failure at times. I don't feel I even deserve to be a mom because of how I've acted toward my family lately. Please forgive me, Lord, and restore me to a right relationship with You. Help me find myself in You. Help me sift through the lies I've believed for so long, and replace them with Your truth of who I really am. Thank You for covering me with Your righteousness, so that I am not continually trying to be good enough on my own. In Your strength I'll seek to focus on You and not me! Amen.

(from Sharon and Laurie's book Hold You, Mommy)

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