Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Adventure of a Lifetime!

Marriage--the adventure of a lifetime! Not what you expected to see? If you have been married for more than 5 minutes you know that it is a wild ride with all its ups and downs. Marriage, just as in parenting, you get no real training before you're full-time into the relationship. How are you supposed to know how to be married? TV has lots of suggestions...mostly scary ones! Your parents gave you a picture of marriage, but maybe they divorced and shook your view of a forever relationship. Even if you were raised in a two-parent home, it's possible that they weren't the best example of a loving relationship--maybe they just stayed together "for the kids." Or maybe your parents were terrific. But just because they openly showed their love for each other and they knew how to be married doesn't mean you automatically know how to do this marriage thing. You're a different person than your parents, which means you won't do things exactly like them. And your husband is different as well. Just as every lock has a unique key to make it work, each union between a man and a woman is going to work in its own unique way.

Why is marriage so hard? I knew there would be struggles, but this is so much work, and now that I'm a mom, I'm really tired! I was relieved to find compassion in Jesus' teaching in Mathew 19. He says, "'Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone....But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it'" (vv.11-12 The Message). I'm convinced that if we are married, we are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage with God's strength. But it is a huge undertaking, something we must grow into. Marriage is a relationship we start learning about the day we get married, and if we're smart we'll keep learning for the rest of our lives.

It's encouraging to know that marriage is no picnic for anyone. Marriage is work for every couple, no matter how easy they make it look. Research shows that the couples that have good marriages have the same amount of conflict that people with troubled marriages have. The difference is in how they deal with it. Marriage is worth the work. Don't give in just because it gets hard.


You know my heart for my husband. You know when I'm glad to be married to him and You know when I'm not so happy about being committed to him. With the demands of children and life sometimes I forget him, Lord. I forget why I was so giggly about him and what we did before we were married. Help me to remember. Restore what we have lost and grow us beyond what we can imagine. Forgive me for missing opportunities to encourage him and for the times when I chose to tear him down instead. Help me to work on myself rather than always trying to "fix" him. I want to love being his wife, just as I want to love being a mom. Help me to persevere when times are tough. Please help us both to grow into the couple You want us to be. Trusting You as I begin again, I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Adapted from Laurie and Sharon's book Mom...And Loving It!

1 comment:

  1. "into the largeness of marriage"...what a description! The statistic that says that we all have the same amount of conflict, it just depends on how you handle it--wow. That is good to know! I always thought everyone else just had it more together than I did.