Before You Burst!

(Laurie) Have you ever blown up a balloon bigger and bigger, thinking with every breath it was going to burst? Finally it does. Before it popped, you had two choices: to keep blowing until it popped, or to stop and let the air out. When we become angry, disgrunteled, or get in a funk for whatever reason, we have two choces: to let the anger rise until we burst with angry words, or admit we are struggling and end the pressure build up. That sounds so easy, but it's hard to do when you feel justified in your anger.


I've noticed that if I go on without telling my husband I'm struggling, I eventually blow up at him. But if I swallow my pride, and admit I'm wrong, and just tell him I'm strugglling, it "lets the air out," breaks down the wall I've been building, stops the vicious cycle, and as a result we can peacefully move on. My husband can be so understanding and loving when he knows I'm having a tough day. That's so much better than saying things that are hurtful to him, words I'll later regret.

Proverbs 15:1
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Father, You have a better way. Please help me choose Your way instead of my selfish, prideful way. It really is easier that way. Teach me to love my husband and please help us grow into the couple You want us to be. In Jesus' Name amen.


from Sharon and Laurie's book Mom...And Loving It!

SMILE!

(Sharon) I've walked by the mirror at times and caught a glimpse of myself. To my surprise, I looked horrible! It wasn't simply that my hair and makeup weren't fixed, or that I was still in my pajamas, but my face looked as though I'd just taken a sip of those sour apple juice bags my kids love to drink. I realized that I needed to smile more. Smiling makes you feel better. And guess who else feels better when Mom smiles? Husbands and kids really appreciate a smile from the main lady in the house.


Unfortunately, the saying is true; "If Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." I long for my face to be my family's refuge. The world can be a cruel place for our husbands and children. If they come home to a disagreeable, discontented wife/mom, their place of safety becomes uncomfortable for them. Some synonyms of refuge describe what a cheerful look can be for our family: a safe haven, a sanctuary, a shelter, a place of safety and protection, a harbor, and a retreat. It is my goal for my husband to look at me, no matter where we are, and feel "safe." The neat thing is, when my face is loving, loving words and actions usually follow.


This is my goal--not something I've completely achieved, but what I'm aiming for. I have to remind myself that this is my goal or I fall into a marital slump and my face slides back into the sour-apple pose again. The couple I saw at church lovingly looking at each other reminded me that I was doing it again--looking disagreeable. By the look on her husband's face, I knew he had found a safe place in her face--at least that day. She's probably not that way all the time either. But that incident jolted me out of my selfish, discouraging frame of mind and back into the reality I want to live in , one of love and encouragement for my husband.

[The Man] You're so beautiful, my darling, so beautiful, and your dove eyes are veiled by your hair as it flows and shimmers, like a flock of goats in the distance streaming down a hllside in the sunshine. Your smile is generous and full--expressive and strong and clean. Your lips are jewel red, your mouth elegant and inviting, your veiled cheeks soft and radiant. The smooth, lithe lines of your neck command notice--all heads turn in awe and admiration!
Song of Solomon 4:1-3
The Message

Adventure of a Lifetime!

Marriage--the adventure of a lifetime! Not what you expected to see? If you have been married for more than 5 minutes you know that it is a wild ride with all its ups and downs. Marriage, just as in parenting, you get no real training before you're full-time into the relationship. How are you supposed to know how to be married? TV has lots of suggestions...mostly scary ones! Your parents gave you a picture of marriage, but maybe they divorced and shook your view of a forever relationship. Even if you were raised in a two-parent home, it's possible that they weren't the best example of a loving relationship--maybe they just stayed together "for the kids." Or maybe your parents were terrific. But just because they openly showed their love for each other and they knew how to be married doesn't mean you automatically know how to do this marriage thing. You're a different person than your parents, which means you won't do things exactly like them. And your husband is different as well. Just as every lock has a unique key to make it work, each union between a man and a woman is going to work in its own unique way.





Why is marriage so hard? I knew there would be struggles, but this is so much work, and now that I'm a mom, I'm really tired! I was relieved to find compassion in Jesus' teaching in Mathew 19. He says, "'Not everyone is mature enough to live a married life. It requires a certain aptitude and grace. Marriage isn't for everyone....But if you're capable of growing into the largeness of marriage, do it'" (vv.11-12 The Message). I'm convinced that if we are married, we are capable of growing into the largeness of marriage with God's strength. But it is a huge undertaking, something we must grow into. Marriage is a relationship we start learning about the day we get married, and if we're smart we'll keep learning for the rest of our lives.





It's encouraging to know that marriage is no picnic for anyone. Marriage is work for every couple, no matter how easy they make it look. Research shows that the couples that have good marriages have the same amount of conflict that people with troubled marriages have. The difference is in how they deal with it. Marriage is worth the work. Don't give in just because it gets hard.





Father,

You know my heart for my husband. You know when I'm glad to be married to him and You know when I'm not so happy about being committed to him. With the demands of children and life sometimes I forget him, Lord. I forget why I was so giggly about him and what we did before we were married. Help me to remember. Restore what we have lost and grow us beyond what we can imagine. Forgive me for missing opportunities to encourage him and for the times when I chose to tear him down instead. Help me to work on myself rather than always trying to "fix" him. I want to love being his wife, just as I want to love being a mom. Help me to persevere when times are tough. Please help us both to grow into the couple You want us to be. Trusting You as I begin again, I pray in Jesus' Name. Amen.







Adapted from Laurie and Sharon's book Mom...And Loving It!